Pure dread

Monday, January 7, 2013

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I'm not even sure how to start this post. In a few hours I will be back to classes. Thankfully, this is my second to last semester. Frankly, I have no desire to do anything.
Over break I got to do what I do best: a whole lot of nothing. Not kidding. I got up around noon, had my shake, and watched countless episodes of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix until my family got home. I then had dinner, maybe hung out with Cam depending on his work schedule and then watched Netflix until about 4 in the morning.
Pathetic.
I had planned to do so much over break, but that's what it boiled down to. I enjoyed it though. Everyone deserves to have a break. A real, bonafide break. And that's what I had.
Unfortunately that makes going back today a hell of a lot more difficult.
To add to it, I've been having more and more trouble with my anxiety/depression/whatever this is in the past few weeks today. I don't wanna be around people (including friends and family) and lack motivation to do anything. When I realized it was time to get ready to go back to school the middle of last week I had a bit of a breakdown. I started getting anxious just thinking about the stress that was sure to begin soon. Like, really? Who gets stressed thinking about stress?! This girl.
Needless to say it's going to be difficult getting into the swing of things. I really enjoyed the freedom and peace I had over break. Send some positive thoughts and prayers my way if you get a chance!

10 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you mean. I'm almost more stressed thinking about stressful situations than I am when I am in the middle of them. Anyway, good vibes from a new follower!

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    1. Thanks for following! So happy to have you :) and I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one!

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  2. Sorry you are struggling with anxiety and depression. I find I have the most difficulty with depression when I have no routine and do nothing. Perhaps getting back into classes and such won't be as bad as you are thinking it will be. :) Maybe, even though it is tough and a lot of work, it will make the anxiety and depression less.

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    1. You're right, routine is best. My problem with routine is school stresses me out, too! But I think I'd rather have the stress than the full-blown panic.

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  3. I hope today is going well! I hate the feeling of dreading the next morning. Wishing you luck and a smooth first day back!

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    1. It's going OK. I think that's the best way to put it. I started counseling today so I think having someone to guide me through will help a lot!

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  4. i've been in your place before. even now, i'm anxious about going back to school! will definitely be praying.

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    1. Thanks girl. I definitely know the feeling! Not a pleasant one.

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  5. Oh man I am totally praying for you! How are things going now that you are back?

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    1. Better than I thought they would! Thanks for praying, Amanda :)

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