I guess that's the best way to put it.
Times are not great, but could be worse. As I mentioned Friday, I started my new job. A very unglamourous job consisting of taking orders, getting food from the kitchen and then delivering it to customers at a carry-out. Work was interesting. I felt like I did a great job since I only got four hours of training Friday and was expected to work a full shift Saturday. And if you don't count the guy that skipped out on his check and my dropping a full bottle of wine, it was pretty successful.
But I have a problem: anticipatory anxiety. I am anticipating work + school = hell. My job is really fast paced and can be very stressful if everything isn't just so. Even though I won't have to start work for another two weeks and will only technically have April to juggle work and school, I am dreading it. The thought makes my chest tighten and my mind scramble. Not to mention high stress level and low motivation level when it comes to school.
In counseling we call it feeding the anxiety monster. And honestly, my monster is stuffed. I am supplying that little demon with just about everything I've got, unfortunately.
For a few weeks until I get myself together, I may be a little MIA. I'm not telling you all this to apologize, just so none of you wondered if my new job was my undoing.
So I've been spending a lot of time alone. Time praying, relaxing and reflecting. I haven't really been productive at all with anything school related (which of course makes me stress worse) and I really need to be.
One thing at a time.