The downside

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

A mere 18 days until I stand before God, my family and friends to marry my husband.
Unfortunately, I feel little excitement. I'm thrilled to be getting married and all the preparation is going perfectly, but I can't feel happy. I wrote about my struggles a while ago, but it's been a big hindrance lately.
Like I said, it's not nerves. It's mostly life in general.
I have a solid routine down by now. Sunday through Friday I wake up, do stuff around the apartment, go to work at the restaurant at 4, come home around 10, go to bed. Saturdays I work at the newspaper from 10-6, which is exhausting.
Other than that, lots of wedding stuff (the little things) is keeping me busy. And even though there's lots of people around me 90 percent of the time, I feel really alone. Cameron tries, but he has no idea what I'm going through and my family doesn't know at all.
The worst part is just not having the ability to enjoy myself during what is supposed to be the best time of my life.
post signature

2 comments:

  1. We all struggle and all you can do is try to push through that dark place and focus on the light. It seems like that's what you're doing. Thinking and praying for you girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You can get through it, lady! You are so strong to even come out and write about the things that you're struggling with. Even though you may feel alone, just keep reminding yourself that you aren't and that there are lots of people who love you! If you ever need to vent, get something off your chest, or just need a listening ear, you've got my email address. And I mean that. You don't need to hold everything in.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearing your thoughts on my posts. Let me know here!