30 Things in 30 Weeks: Let's be honest starting with ourselves

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Lehmann Laughter

The prompt for this week is : "Let's be honest: starting with ourselves. Are you honest with yourself about your faults, your mistakes and your life?"
When I read that I actually said out loud yikes. That is deep.
It also was a little more light-hearted for me when the line from the Queen Bey herself starting ringing in my head, "are you happy with yourself?" from Pretty Hurts.
You're welcome for providing the soundtrack for this blog post.
Back to the heart of the matter...
The roundabout, as well as the short and sweet answer, are both no.
Human nature tells us to strive to be the best, for perfection. It's the "Does this selfie accentuate my double chin? Take another" type culture. Put your best face forward and make sure that's just about the only face anyone ever sees.
Recently I've been manning opening up about a lot of the struggles I've been dealing with lately. It took a lot for me to be honest with not only the people closest to me, but myself. Sad but true.
And why is that? The "best face" culture I was just talking about. My faults are weaknesses and I certainly couldn't risk showing those...
My mistakes are a whole different ballgame. There's many, some more mundane than others, some I'm ready to talk about and some I'd rather stay away for good.
Lately being honest about my life has been a process. First is knowing and understand within myself, then accepting, then talking about it all. It has been hard because of all the life changes happening, graduation, college, moving, etc. It forces you to acknowledge things you either didn't want to or didn't realize needed acknowledgement. Sometimes those things pop out and scare the beejesus out of you, too.
Going back to the original question, my answer is still no. I still try to hide those imperfections, but I think I'm working toward a more honest, open version of me.


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8 comments:

  1. I think you're absolutely right about the society we live in - heaven forbid we put anything other than our best selves out there, because people might figure out that we're actually *gasp* HUMAN!

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    1. It is so sad and really sets this fake standard. And when people fall short of it (or think they do) it can be really detrimental.

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  2. honestly genna, i'm so proud of you for opening up and being real with your sruggles. honesty is important, needed, relished in! don't loose it, ever!

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    1. Thanks girl. If it weren't for the support of all my amazing blog friends I couldn't do it. But I just think it's so important to be real! Especially in this weird, perfectionist realm of blogging.

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  3. I'm really proud of you opening up about your struggles - it takes a lot of guts - and being a more open, honest version of yourself is something amazing to strive for. You're right, I think everyone tries to show the best side of themselves even when it isn't the truth - just in hopes that maybe one day it will be.

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    1. I agree! It's the best self I think one can put forward.

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  4. I love this and I think you are so strong for being a more open and honest you. It is definitely a process, and I feel like I'm never at the same stage with everything happening (can only think about some things, can talk about others, etc). And the best face culture really does make that hard, but I think only with accepting our "worst face" can we become our best face.

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    1. Amen. It is seriously a process and not always an easy, clear-cut one at that.

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